Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
