i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
