have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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