somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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