TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
