I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
