i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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