That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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