You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just took my morning after pill in the library
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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