i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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