and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
