Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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