if i can run in heels then i can drive
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
