I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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