I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
