I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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