i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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