ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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