In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
