i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My ass is underappreciated
I just forgot I was standing up.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
