Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
