One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize