he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
How does one acquire holy water?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
