Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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