lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
