YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I skipped work to stalk him.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
