omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
