I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
there is puke in my bra ... again
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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