went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
