I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
