I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
