I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
