I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
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