i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
