Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
