you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize