I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize