Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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