Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
