You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
