I don't think brook has ever known best
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize