you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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