What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
