How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
