where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
