i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Randomize
