When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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