I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize