my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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