I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
