He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
