The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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