I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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