I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
