so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
my poor anus
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
