Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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