I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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