He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
