I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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