Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
