I bet he comes in French.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
