her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
