Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Is this like a preordered booty call?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
