Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
