Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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